Listen, as stay at home sad, the stay at home dad, I’ve got a very busy schedule to maintain. There’s feeding the kids and begin with the distracting. Then at mid morning I’ve gots ta watch my Ellen. If you think I’m sitting around eating bon-bons watching Ellen, you’ll be sadly disappointed. I’ve been an Ellen fan for many years (before her sitcom where she kisses someone and before her bad movie, you remember – “Mr. Wrong”). I was a fan when she just stood and told jokes. So, because of her awesome comedic timing I like to sit a little time aside to watch her be funny (and the 1-year-old likes to dance with her).

But, as I mentioned, I don’t lounge about. No. As you know I’m trying to run a child distraction factory, but I’m also taking care of business. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the Business referenced in the 70’s song by BTO – which when playing frisbee on the beach in the summer of ’76 I vowed to make my life’s mantra. And now, many years later I associate folding clothes with Takin Care of Business (every day). Yes, I fold clothes while being Ellenized.

My wife enjoys folding clothes and does it very well. In fact, I’ve even gone to her method on the towels after several years of fighting it. But, she’s right. However, I will never go to her side on the underwear scene. I will never fold underwear. I don’t even to hire an outside efficiency specialist consultant to come and do a study. I know that folding underwear is a waste of time. I’ve got my underwear, my wife’s underwear, an 8-year-old girl underwear, and a 3.7 year old boy underwear. As far as I’m concerned, those kid underwears are as good as folded already. They take up no space. I understand that there is the space saving to be considered, and trust me, I’ve factored it in. If we were going to the moon (our whole family) and needed to pack underwear, I’d be the first to say maybe we should look at folding these to be more efficient. Wait, or would I? Let’s not forget rolling.

I think that most will agree on this point. Other arguments could be to fold to avoid wrinkling. Would anyone really argue that? Maybe not. I say if they have to be folded, then they should not be hidden away in a dresser drawer. Folded underwear should be displayed prominently – maybe in a living room bookshelf. After all, when you invest so much time in something people need to know and be interested in it, because it’s verging on a hobby. Maybe people should start trading folded underwear. You fold them and them dip them in some kind of preservative lacquer and trade them with others who enjoy the hobby of folding underwear.

As I’m watching Ellen she gives out a pair of underwear – you know the ones she gives out, with the picture of her on the backside – and as she is handed them by a staffer, I see that they’re not folded. Ellen continues to be my hero.

• Tweet
• Pin It