Eulogy for Marvin Spafford (12/10/2021)

Thank you for coming out today to help us honor the memory of our dad, Marvin John Spafford. I want to start by quoting my dad’s favorite President, Bill Clinton (Long Pause). I’m just kidding. That’s not his favorite president at all. We didn’t agree on politics. I told him a couple years ago if […]

The Lost Tapes Part 1

Extra! Extra! Read all about it. Secretly taped conversations with friends discovered after 20 years.

2020 Spafford – Berger Christmas Letter

This past year of 2020 sure has been uneventful and humdrum for the Spafford – Berger family.

A Letter to John Lithgow’s Publicist

Dear Kara, Let me start by saying that I realize this email/inquiry may be outside the scope of what you do, but please humor me. For the past 30 plus years I have been plagued by your client, Mr. Lithgow. You see, for the past 30 years people have been approaching me and telling me […]

2019 Spafford / Berger Christmas Letter

Friends and Family,   We all go through sadness or loss or heartbreak and a slew of other assorted feelings of the same genre throughout the year. Wait. Is that the beginning of my Christmas letter? Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! The aforementioned feelings and remembrances are not what we want to put on […]

2018 Spafford – Berger Christmas Letter

If The Savior Jesus Christ had a junk drawer (and I’m guessing he did, being a man of the people and all)

Rye and Fire

Get your guns And carry them to the creek A Colt 45 long and sleek Crops come in Rye comes out Herald and shout The fire chief stood in the yard Said it looked like arson I said it looked like love Not every day in this big ol’ life That someone tries to burn […]


Lay down in a snow colored field Soft like goose grown Where death is covered by the winter Blanket Your heart from the suspect season Let your cheek feel the frozen earth Sprinkle concentric flakes bitter and numb Cold to warm fresh flesh Young like the night stars above Naked and cold half-moon spilling milk […]

Ode to Death

Devil devil die Death mortal dead Mucus moss filled death Bad luck And so on —————— from Car Sick from Circus Peanuts

The Perfect Day

A pushy gray sky sinks Dripping teeth into my day What to do but stay In my shelter Thoughts of Helter Skelter Harakiri Mariah Carey All somewhere playing With the sun Gone Frightened away _______from Car Sick from Circus Peanuts

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